by Old John Smokey

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(free) 00:26


While working on his upcoming album, "Train Time Blues", Old John Smokey has decided to make some sample tunes available to his fans. Some of these will be on "Train Time Blues" and there is a special bonus track on this album for his legion of fans who have found him through's NSFW Show.


released March 6, 2012

Old John Smokey




Old John Smokey Elmira, New York

I'm known as Old John Smokey and people round these parts know me for my spoontastic bonanza of blues music.

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Track Name: Keep Off the Jenkem
Now listen here children
I'm gonna tell you a tale
'Bout that nasty ol' jenkem
Make your mind all stale
You might think
Jenkem won't get me
'Til ya wind up dead
News on the TV

Now everybody
Wanna have their fun
Hanky panky all night
To the rising sun
But I tell you what
Ain't no fun to me
Sniffin' that jenkem
'Til you can't even see

It makes your eyes all wild
And your brain all slow
Your nose all nasty
And your teeth all mold
And your hair fall out
And your blood go cold
And your heart stop beatin'
And your skin like a toad
'Til the police find you
Out dead on the road
All from sniffin' that jenkem
Should've heard what I told

If you see someone sneakin'
Out by the latrine
Reach for for your gun
If you know what I mean
'Cause they're ten time worse
Than any cocaine fiend
The jenkem already hell
Just send them back where they been

You don't need a house
Out Larchmont Road
By the country club
Where the rich folks go
You'll always be happy
Just long as you know
The jenkem's nothin' but trouble
No matter where you go
Track Name: Rock Island
Old John Smokey, based on a song by Kelly Pace
Track Name: Shamokin' Dam Woman
I got me a woman
Down smokin' dam
She let me kiss her cheek
And hold her hand

You can always ask me
Wherever I am
I'll tell you my hearts
In smokin' dam

Come next spring
We got a wedding planned
She'll be my smokin' dam wife
And I'll be her smokin' dam man
Track Name: Papa Durnt Raise No Weezl
Old Hatchet Face Flynn
Was a son of a gun
Meanest damn lawyer
Under the sun
Say he wouldn't leave the court
Until he won
His clients all loved him
Called him number one

But when I was a boy
Daddy told me, son:
Don't be no damn weasel
Try'n sell me no fun

Rainbow Tibbets
Was a business man
Held the whole dang town
In the palm his hand
But when the tax man came
To get his money down
Ol' Tibbets paid fair
Ain't No messn' aroun'

He said, "My pappy used to tell me
When he was around,
Don't be no damn weasel
Always playin' the clown."

Oh Papaaaa!!
Papa didn't raise no weasel

When the good lord painted me
Upon the divine easel
Weren't no whiskers or tail
Cause I ain't no weasel

Nah if ya ax my ex-wife
She'll tell ya a tale
'Bout lyin' and cheatin'
And faults and fails
While she pickin' her teeth
With my coffin nails

But when she said "I do"
Behind that wedding vale
With her hair so soft
And her skin so pale
And her smile so sweet
With her polished nails

I never guess she a weasel
Claws, teeth and tail
Track Name: Time on the Hill
Zebulon Brockway built him a jail
Settin' right up on Elmira Hill
1800 men be sittin' there still
Thinkin' on they crimes and the people they've killed

Wasting away in the ultra max
Livin' every day just watching your back
Can't close your eyes, can't relax
Can't get the warden up offa your back

So think long and hard
'Fore you wave that gun
Or you be rottin' in jail
Or livin' on the run

Yeah you better think twice
'Fore you wave that knife
Or it's bricks and bars
For 25 to life

You hear the train whistle wail
A high lonesome sound
An wish that you was on it
Wherever it's bound

But try as you might
And do what you will
You still be stuck
On Elmira Hill
Track Name: End of the Show Song
It's time to go and I'm so depressed
And I'm going to spend the rest of the week in bed
Until the next... NSFW

The show is through and it breaks my heart
'cause I just can't stand to be apart
From Brian and Justin and NSFW

Oh, I'd rather... die in a fire
Then spend a single moment without Brian Brushwood

Oh, I'd rather be dipped in honey and fed to a big ant pile
Then do without Justin Robert Young for even a little while

Oh, NSF...W...
I love you.

Oh, NSF...W...
I love you.